A Change

Have you ever noticed how much people change? 

Boys that I once loved become unrecognisable, friendships that I thought would last forever slowly drifting apart.

I've changed, more than I can possibly comprehend over the past two years, for better and for worse.

I have become even more sensitive, with new pains, new triggers, new problems to tackle. But on the other hand I have become more passionate, more determined, more focused on improving my mental health and the wellbeing of those around me.

I have become braver and more terrified in equal measures. The former always wins, even when I think it won't. Each time I face my fears I grow a little more, a testament to what I can achieve.

But it has meant saying goodbye. Goodbye to old versions of me, shedding the skin of them as I embrace the mould underneath. Saying goodbye to people when that meant ripping out my heart, and maybe not saying goodbye when I silently was grateful for their departure. 

At New Year we all look towards change, the deliberate kind; the kind that involves better health and wardrobes, new haircuts and new 'me's. But change isn't always deliberate, sometimes it happens naturally and that's usually when you look back and realise it's the most dramatic.

I used to hate change, I saw it as unsettling and frightening. Now I'm coming to embrace it, especially organic change, as it seems an inevitable fact of life. So here’s to growing into the people that we become, embracing ourselves and others as we develop, and our friends as they do too. Time passes, life changes, and it's important to move with the onward flow.

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