How To Healthily Handle Anger

How To Healthily Handle Anger

Anger is an emotion that I personally struggle with. I hate feeling angry, and it can be a stressful experience when I don’t know how to healthily let it out. Yet everyone gets angry, some more than others, and so over the years I have began to learn techniques that have helped me cope when I see red. 

Identify the cause: Sometimes we don’t know the cause, but there usually is one. If you can identify what is getting you riled up then it is the first step to changing it. Is there a way to rectify the situation? I have been feeling really angry lately, and after some reflection I realised that it was a response to my break up, and was coming from a place of hurt. Once I began to understand what I was angry about, and what about the relationship and break up was causing me to feel this way, I found I could start working through it in a healthy way. 

Exercise: This is my favourite way to deal with anger, particularly post break up. I throw on my headphones, listen to whatever song best expresses how I’m currently feeling, and sprint as fast as I can. I always leave feeling happier and exhilarated, as the endorphins pump round by body. It’s a great way to rid yourself of the negative energies of anger and also get healthier too!

Write: When I feel like someone has done something to make me angry, I love to write and tell them why I am upset. I often swear about every third word, and can be as self-righteous as I want to be. They will never see the letter, but just putting into words what is wrong is incredibly helpful towards moving on from it. 

Talk: I think we often feel like we need to be listened to, even if it’s not by the people who may have contributed to those feelings. If writing doesn’t help, sometimes I find talking to a trusted friend about the fact I’m angry can be beneficial. They may be able to help you identify the cause, or it might just be that you want some sympathy and a hug. Plus who doesn't love a good rant? Just make sure it’s someone who is removed from the situation, otherwise it may contribute to the problem. 

Don't internalise it: All of the advice above is about how to externalise and express anger healthily. Internalising anger usually leads to us taking out on ourselves, and that is a damaging cycle to fall into. The suggestions above may not work for you, but the most important thing is that you find solutions that help rather than harm. 

Anger is a very normal reaction, and it's taken me a long time to realise that. It's okay to feel these feelings, but make sure that you're doing it in a way that is beneficial and helpful. Rant, run or write, it may just make you feel better. 

P.S I think being angry is different to feeling grumpy, but I also have tips for that too!


  1. After losing someone very, very close to me I feel angry. All the time. So I write - it's about the only method I know how to cope with anger. But I know I need to find other ways, so thank you for sharing these ideas.

    1. Oh I'm so sorry Rebecca, that must be so hard! I'm sure you know that anger is a natural part of grief, but I'm sure that doesn't make it any easier. I'm glad you're finding techniques and I hope they help xxx


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