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Wednesday, 5 October 2016

How To Make Peace With FOMO


Picture this situation: I'm sat in bed, probably with a scented candle flickering somewhere near me. I'm watching Netflix, maybe I have a face mask on my face, and I'm feeling utterly peaceful in my own company. I pick up my phone, maybe have a casual scroll through Instagram or snapchat, and see my friends having fun. Bam, FOMO floods me with full force and suddenly my evening went from blissful to anxiety inducing faster than you can say "feeling left out".

FOMO is a bitch that many of us have to deal with, and living on a campus that takes merely five minutes to walk end to end, knowing that your friends are nearby having fun, is downright disheartening. Even if all I wanted to do was curl up in bed because university life is so tiring, not going along to things is really difficult. I can't even tell you how many times I have gone to events just because I wanted to be a part of something, even when a quiet night in would have been infinitely preferable and so much healthier.

Coming to terms with these feelings is something I've been trying to do for years, and I'm sort of, almost getting there. It's definitely something I still struggle with, though, so I thought I'd share some thoughts on how to avoid it.

Make plans for another time: If I want to be in bed early one night but I know the creeping thoughts of loneliness and feeling left out will ruin it for me, I always try to have something coming up to cling on to. It's okay that I'm staying in tonight, because tomorrow night I'll be with my friends, and a girl has to do both, right?

Stay away from social media: Social media is a recipe for FOMO, plain and simple. Scrolling is inevitably what induces these feelings within me, so now I know to switch it off and leave it under my pillow. This helps me better focus on the fun I'm having, without the constant reminder of what everyone else is up to. 

Remember you are not alone: Not only is staying in a valid choice, it's also a choice a lot of people make. Sure there may be plenty of people out having fun, but there are also plenty opting for the same kind of night as you. Take comfort in their existence, and remember that everyone else feels like this way from time to time too. 

You do you: Try to keep the thoughts away from others, and focus on yourself. Are you enjoying this activity? Is this what you need right now? If it's not, then it's 100% fine to try and make other plans, but invariably the night started as an active decision that I was making for myself. When I place the lens on that, rather than thinking about the people living around me, I'm always happier with what I'm doing. 

This is no perfect solution, but hopefully a little step forward into happiness. I've come to realise that the only difference between me in bed watching Netflix and me in bed feeling FOMO is the feeling bad part - which is just stupid, right? Instead, I'm trying to reclaiming enjoying being alone. Join me, won't you?

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10 comments:

  1. I think I'm quite lucky in the sense that I don't really experience FOMO or loneliness that often but when it does happen, it definitely sucks. The last thing you mentioned, you do you, is something that works really well for me. As a very introverted person I always try to listen to myself when it comes to making a decision about whether to make plans or just stay home and enjoy my alone time. I try to listen to what I really want to do in that moment, what would make me more content & what sounds more appealing :) x

    Sara’sChapters

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    1. That's such a good way to go about things Sara! We definitely need to respect what works best for us with these things :) xx

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  2. I bet we've all felt like this, at some point. From my own experience, it got better the older I got. As a teenager I was out and about so much that I was kinda over it when I started Uni. And I agree with you - Uni life is exhausting. At some times, I worked 3 jobs next to classes so I was so not up for socializing.I tried in the beginning to go to parties etc but I didn't have fun, so lazy nights were so much better. And now a couple of years later, I'd love to do more things but my friends are acting like they're 60. :D Anyway, I think your tips are great and definitely work. FOMO gets less through the years!!! :)

    XX Hailey - www.haileyjaderyan.com // www.instagram.com/haileyjaderyan

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    1. I can really relate to what you're saying Hailey! I'm finding I get less FOMO as I get older, thankfully :) Thank you so much for commenting xx

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  3. This post is so perfect for me, I actually saved it! I really really love your outlook and your style of writing. I enjoy being alone and have been leaning towards spending time by myself at home instead of going out with my friends. Even though it's a conscious decision, FOMO still gets to me sometimes since it's my senior year. But I do still hang out with them. I think there's nothing wrong with choosing to be in your own little space from time to time if you need it or if you feel that socialising can sometimes drain your energy, haha. Thanks so much for sharing this xo

    Joanne | Life in Blue Skies

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    1. Aww Joanna, thank you for your lovely words :) I think certain levels of FOMO are natural but I'm glad you're getting a good balance. Liza xx

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  4. Yep I suffer with fomo too and whenever it comes on I hate it! I think staying away from social media is a big thing for kind of 'fixing' fomo because it's like that saying "out of sight, out of mind!"

    Also, completely unrelated but your hair looks amazing in that photo!

    www.thesundaymode.com

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    1. That's a great phrase and so relevant for here!

      Haha thank you :)

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  5. I recently moved to NYC with my hubby for his job and all of our friends live in the UK, there's a whole load of FOMO going on here! I was actually pointed in your direction by Lauren Shipley with the hope that you might still be in NYC and need a photographer to help out with blog pictures but I see you're in Paris now? I'm still glad to have come across your corner of the Internet, and if you're ever in NYC again and need a shoot, give me a shout :)

    www.englishgirlinnewyork.org

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    1. Hi Elishia,

      Sadly I left New York in August, otherwise I would have loved to! I'm back in Abu Dhabi now but I will certainly get in touch if/when I'm back :) I hope things are going well for you in New York, it such an incredible city and one of my favourites :)

      Liza xx

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Thank you so much for taking the time to comment and share your thoughts with me. I read and reply to each and every one.

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